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Grief and the holidays

Spend time with people who understand

For three weeks I have sat quite a few hours staring at my computer screen trying to put together a blog post. My brain can’t seem to wrap the words around the ideas of what I want to compose. What I am typing and reading back sounds like “Yoda speak.”  Understand me you, yes?

And I have some really good ideas too!  I attended the first annual National Caregiving Conference in Chicago, IL on December 2 and 3 and there are so many experiences I could share.  And there is a bunch of information I want to write about family caregiving.  Oh, and I have recipes for quick, family meals when caregiving appointments take over the day and everyone is asking, “What’s for dinner?” and you have no clue!  

So, why can't I get THAT on paper?


I finally allowed what I have been feeling to come forward. All these weeks I have tried to distract myself with the conference, my work, mom’s appointments, Christmas decorating and shopping, etc. when all I really want to do is cry. Rather, sob.

It has been two years since my dad died on November 11th. Two years out. I should be over the “rough part.” Or, at least that is what others may say. And, my dad lived to 89. He had a long life. I should be - and am - very grateful that I enjoyed so many years with him.

But it’s my dad. The first man I loved. The man I compared all men too. The man who demonstrated…

  • God and faith… by reading the Bible, prayer and having a relationship with Jesus;  
  • Patience… and teaching me fishing (you have to wait – sometimes a while - for the fish to take a nibble before you set the hook);
  • Courage… and how to ride a bike and get back up and try again after a fall;
  • Forgiveness… even when hurting and that it allows us to move forward and trust again.

There are countless lessons I learned from him. And I miss his wisdom so much. Even after two years.

Grief and the holidays

It is a rough combination. Many of our festivities are family-centered and an immense emptiness is felt when we gather. Or, maybe we just want to be alone.

There is support.  A group of people who “get it.” 

Denise Brown and her site, is offering a 36-hour chat room beginning Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. I invite you to join me... here are the details:

Because we understand you may not be where you want to be and may need a place to go, we’re opening a chat room for 36 hours for any family caregiver and former family caregiver who needs a place to vent, share or connect over Christmas. Our virtual chat room doesn’t require gas or your heavy winter coat. If you need time away from family, if you need to connect with others who understand, if you need an empathetic ear who knows how it can be, please step into our Christmas chat room.

From Noon ET on Christmas Eve until midnight on December 25, we’ll keep our chat room open to any visitor to and member of To join the chat on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, just click the orange button on your right that reads “Chat.” Then, click on “Christmas Chatroom.”

#support #caregiving #Christmas

Merry Christmas and maybe I will “see” you in the chat room.

Blessings to you and yours!

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